why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
