so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
