Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
