On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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