I wish I could punch you in the face.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
