I want to walk on stilts...naked
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
