Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
