she was so not down for the gang bang
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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