Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
