My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
