Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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