I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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