Im at strip club and am horny
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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