Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
