well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
