you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
