I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
