Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
