Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
