New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
not ubering you a puppy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
