So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
