How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
