I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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