im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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