Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
