New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was confusing and full of hummus
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
