I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
