Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so let's talk penis.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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