i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
