she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
