i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
