You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
