he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
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