Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I believe in your delicious
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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