well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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