i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
