Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
