She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
