you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
