words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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