That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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