I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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