You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
what day is it and did you see me today?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
