I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize