im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
