You made me cry and you don't even care
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i now understand why vodka
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
