Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
