somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
