Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
