but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
