So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he just fucked me for my cheese..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
