I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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