yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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