i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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