his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
