I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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