Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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