I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
