Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
