Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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