? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize