uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
