Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
