I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
